I've been feeling, and telling myself a lot lately, that I'm bored.
I've been telling other people that as well, when they ask how I'm doing.
Stock answer:
"I'm doing fine...feeling better. Just finding it tough to pass the time with all the restrictions. I'm bored as hell."
It's a lame ass thing to say.
So I'm not going to any more.
I came across a quote today by Louis C.K.
He's a phenomenally pottymouthed, dark, and hilarious comedian. I highly recommend any of his stand-ups and his TV show.
Still, when I woke up today, he's about the last person I thought I'd be taking life lessons from:
"I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you're alive is amazing, so you don't get to say 'I'm Bored."--Louis C.K.
All of what he says is true.
I've seen very little of the world. When this is all over, I plan to change that.
Our minds are endless and I need to be better about finding ways to challenge it.
Time isn't promised to anyone and it is amazing that I'm alive.
Saying "I'm bored" has to be nothing more than lack of effort. I know this, because when I say I'm bored, I'm usually sitting on the couch, doing nothing, feeling bad for myself.
No mas.
Now, I'm not preaching and it certainly isn't in my nature to be perpetually busy, with sunbeams shining out of my ass--walking around with a constant huge smile plastered on my face, fascinated by a ladybug on a twig.
That isn't me, and it will never be.
Life can't be at all times exhilarating, mysterious, challenging and rewarding. Obviously there will be some down time.
Still, boredom, it seems to me, is a decision.
It's a choice I've been making too often. It's lazy. Born from excuses.
Maybe it's even a personality flaw.
Whatever it is, I'm going to try and be done with it.
These 100 days can't be done soon enough. I'm ready to get on with the rest of the time I have.
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ReplyDeleteHello Marcus, I too am a 10% in fact I was two doors down from you in the STEM cell unit in September. I was readmitted for complications from my treatment. I am in remission from my Hodgkins Disease. I am inspired by your blog and rooting for both of us.
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