It's going to be tough to follow up the last post, so fair warning, this will probably bore you.
I went back to work today.
I woke up, got some things done, drank my coffee, and went to work.
WORK.
It was exhilarating.
If that sounds sarcastic, it isn't meant to be.
I'm legitimately thrilled.
When things are taken from you, even things you don't always love or don't think you'll miss, it's difficult. Especially when one of those things is the right/ability to earn a paycheck.
Lucky for me, I do love what I do--and if I may toot my own horn--I think I'm pretty damn good at it.
 |
| In my own mind, at least |
Life is slowly returning to normalcy--which is more difficult than you would think it would be.
I'm not complaining at all, it's great--but you get used to this dark cloud hanging over you. You operate knowing something is wrong, and it affects everything you do and the way you think. It's always there.
And then one day, it isn't.
You're on your own again. No crutches. No excuses. No one to pity or feel sorry for you.
Get back out there. Get busy. Move on.
Life can be cold--and always better than the alternative.
Not everyone who has cancer gets to see this day or feel this urgency.
I do. I feel it. I love it.
Back at it.
Chemo again on Thursday--and every 3 weeks for the next year--So I'll have plenty of reminders that not all is well, not all is perfect--yet. We have a ways to go.
But we're getting there, and I'm back at work.
Today is a good day.
Also, I'm thinking of continuing to write here--but am also conflicted about it. I realize I am considerably less interesting to most folks if I don't have cancer so--should I end it? Turn it into a book? Start my career as a movie critic? Just shut up and end this post?
Okay.
You need to keep writing as this blog has become a vehicle to help others battle cancer and help us who don't have cancer understand and appreciate what it takes to survive and excel. Thanks
ReplyDeleteI agree. You may not fully comprehend he impact you have had on others throughout this whole thing. It is important you show people that you CAN have a life after all of this insanity. Why not?? But I also think you SHOULD put it together as a book as well!!!
ReplyDeleteNo Don't Stop! I would miss you - I am starting my every 3 week post stem cell chemo next week (also for Hodgkins Disease and I am also in remission)I would like to feel we're doing this together.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you can write.
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ReplyDeletePlease don't stop writing. I just found your blog 10 minutes ago while waiting with my 20 year old son for his blood draw. I'm sitting in a chair you may have sat in- blood draw on the first floor of the UM cancer center. He has Hodgkins and 4 more infusions to go. It's nice to read about life post cancer. Griswold reminds me of poor boxer, Zeus. He's a goofball too.
ReplyDeleteI've been in those chairs many times.
DeleteI'll do my best to keep writing. Thank you for the words, and best of luck to your son. He's in good hands.
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