The finish line is in sight.
I have two more treatments scheduled. After the last, which will take place on St. Patrick's Day (sweet), there will be a 6 week break.
That, I'm told, is how long it takes for all of the Chemo drugs to leave my body. After that, I'll go back in for a battery of tests to see what effect the treatment as a whole had on the Cancer.
Obviously, I'm hoping to hear the R-word and that I'm completely Cancer free, and can move on from this.
I'm ready for that not to be the case though, and whatever comes after that, whatever that entails--bring it. Why dread something you can't control?
This has been rough, but I've done my best to live up to my own words and to embrace the experience. The last month or two, that has proven very difficult at times. I've never experienced exhaustion like this--physically and mentally.
There are times where the only word to describe how I felt, is empty.
The nausea and puking I can handle. The drain, though...the emotional toll, the emptiness, has been the toughest part. Thankfully, it only lasts for a little while, and I bounce back (stop feeling sorry for myself) because of all the amazing people in my life.
And if the scans aren't what I hoped for and the "fight" has to continue, then it will.
I'm going to win, one way or another.
Hopefully that victory is locked up 6 weeks from St. Patty's Day. I'll have "survived Cancer" on that day...which is something I won't really believe or be able to process mentally until it happens.
If not, it'll happen some other time.
When it does...I have no idea how I'll react because I haven't allowed myself to think about it.
This blog is all about honesty, though, so one thing I know for sure...
Is that I'm going to get extremely drunk, and that you're all invited.
 |
| Like this. |
Probably travel, too.
But definitely get really, really drunk.
And grow a beard.
And get drunk.
No comments:
Post a Comment