How the hell

A little consistency as far as my reactions to chemo from treatment to treatment was a bit too much to ask for apparently. 

After day 1 of what are now 2 day treatments, I hit another new low! Woohoo! Not here to complain, but in the interest of documenting this experience, which is what I set out to do in the first place...there was Gratuitous vomiting. Constant fever. Shivers, sweats. Weird baby eye goop. Cramps. The whole nine yards. It was a nasty 24 hours--nasty enough that my treatment scheduled for Thursday had to be pushed back to Friday, which is where I'm on my way to now. 

Only thing better than chemo is more chemo HAHAHAH AMIRITE.

Again, up to this point, I've only had a handful of what I would consider extremely unpleasant experiences--the rest falling under the "blah this kinda sucks" label. That's a good ratio. 

It's hard not to get angry about it while it's happening and my stomach is being rung out. 

Not mad I'm sick and not from a place of self pity, but mad as in damn, how is this still the best option? Is this the best we've got, science? It obviously is, and if it works, then I'm all about it, but jeeze. 

It's just cancer. Still feel lucky I even get to experience all this. Especially the nasty stuff. 

I don't feel like I'm in a "fight." Just along for ride. 

I also don't feel like surviving cancer is supposed to be easy--certainly not all the time. 

Thank you to everyone who reaches out with well wishes and kind words. I have the best family, friends, girlfriend, co-workers, boss, and dog a guy could ask for. 

I'm a lucky dude.

Again, I didn't say it was an interesting blog post.