As a reaction generally out of my control, I find myself trying to "harden" up, trying to focus, leading up to treatment.
I say out of my control because I don't make any real conscious decision to do it...just kinda happens. A defense mechanism--and a poor one. The pre-chemo nausea isn't lessened, as the pile of puke in the parking lot proves.
Still, placing a sharp focus on the smaller details of today, like this being 6/12, knowing what to expect, and reminding myself not to waste this day--embrace it and remember it as another opportunity to kick cancer in the nuts--helps.
What I think I look like storming in to the Cancer Center:
What I actually look like:
I know, I know. They look totally the same.
6/12, you're up.
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