And so the "real shit" begins...and how to feel better when it does

Even when it's expected, it's pretty tough to prepare for what I'm feeling now. 

Before I say another word, please keep in mind how keenly aware I am of the fact that I have it very easy. Tons of other folks with cancer/other diseases are much worse off than I am, so this isn't "woe is me."

I know how lucky I am, this is just what is happening. 

Stomach is feeling a lot like a wet towel that is being rung out, constantly. My head feels a bit like it's in a vice, the pressure behind my eyes is steadily rising. My appetite has been non-existent today, so I'm trying to choke down some toast. Not going that well. My bones hurt. Anti-nasuea pills help, but the room still spins occasionally. My mouth tastes like I've been sucking on coins. 

And damnit my stomach is on fire. 

Which brings us to how to feel better, even if just briefly. Your sister sends you pictures of your nephews first school pictures. That's how. 

Holy hell that's a good lookin' kid. Love the little guy. 

Tonight is going to be a long one. 1, because I'm a baby. 2, because as ready as you think you are to feel a certain way, even as bad as it is, you're wrong. 

All part of the deal.