Friday, November 14, 2014

Uncomfortable answers

Unforeseen awkward situation:

I bump into an acquaintance/mild friend/bar regular who asks "whoa hey why did you shave your head?"  

It's a tougher question to answer than I would have thought. 

Option 1:

It's certainly easier to just say something like "Eh, just time for a change," which I have. I'm not condoning lying in general, but c'mon--sometimes it's just easier. I don't have to explain anything to this relative stranger and get into an in depth conversation about it. Then I don't have to sit through a very (forced) concerned look and then respond awkwardly after the well-wishes. It's certainly the "dickhead" option, but it's in and out. 

Option 2:

I can opt for the blunt/dramatic response. "I have cancer." This actually might be the dickhead option because of the uncomfortable spot it puts the other person in. Responses I've gotten to this option: 

"Fuck you.....wait....you're kidding right?" 

"That's not funny man, my dad had cancer."



"Nuh uh."

"HAHAHAHAH GOOD ONE but seriously why'd you shave it?"

This is also not a good option, because once the person realizes I'm not kidding, they feel terrible and the sympathy/well-wishes are even more dramatic and uncomfortable for me to respond to (I've learned I don't do well with sympathy in person, is what I'm getting at). They ask questions and want all the details to compensate for the feeling that they've just offended me (which they haven't). 

Option 3:

Ignore them and change the subject. Also a shitty option. 

So it becomes a matter of which is the less of 3 evils. I'll report back to you on which option I deem the most effective. 

Or I can just leave my hat on at all times. This may be the safest. 


Late edit:

I've been notified by my friend Marcy that there are other far less awkward options I could go with. I wasn't suggesting there weren't, only that I'm far too weird/awkward in person to think that quickly on my feet. It's easy to be witty on a blog. In person takes actual talent (which I've been faking on here from the start).


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